Vanishing Act
How can something that was so real, just vanish into thin air like dust.
I did something super depressing today. Went ahead and read all the posts we sent each other on our blog, and reread all the posts that I posted on my xanga when we were going through our break up. And I only felt anger. ANGER for letting myself be treated the way I was, but I don’t regret anything. Because I gave my all, I loved to my fullest capacity, and was true to my heart. My craziness as you called it, was just me madly in love and not knowing what to do when you were cheating on me.
Today is another step in your final days that dwell within my heart. Your face, your smell, your voice, our memories… are slowly fading, the pain is still there but bearable enough where I am not crying my nights away wallowing in my self pity, for I have found a love so much greater. The love of my Father, the love of my saviour, the love of someone who you will never compare to. Through Him, I am able to learn to forgive you and pray blessings for your future. I still care about you, that if we were to ever see each other again, I wouldn’t know what to do but say I missed you, How are You?, Hope life has been treating you well. You look well. I’ve been praying for you.
My God is so much greater, so humbling, so fearful, reverent, Holy. He is my new love that I cling onto for ALL things. Nobody will understand me as much as my loving Father will. His word, the Bible, is his love book to us, his promise to us. I LOVE YOU.
I Realized…
that I’m terrified to delve into a new relationship thats more than surface with the opposite gender after my previous relationship.
It’s like, i grow this sense of disgust and then i feel like throwing up even thinking about the thought of getting close to another guy.
It kind of sucks, but this is a season of healing, a season where I can grow stronger in Him.
Just thought I’d share.
Life is so much larger.
Than what I want.
Than what I need.
Than what I am.
Life is seriously Love.
God is Love.
My heart goes out to all those who are less fortunate than I.
Not in a sense to brag that I have more or in any sense of entitlement at all.
But for those who are suffering, as I suffer as well.
We are all the same.
<3 people around you, find the greater meaning in life than just to complain.
Vintage
I really want to go vintage thrift shopping this weekend. one thing i miss about LA, is that it’s not as common up here. :/
BASKETBALL SEASON
waiting for it to friggen start!
but also wondering how I’m going to watch it… without cable…..
what a dilemma!
Your Beauty
God you are so wondrous in so many different ways.
My heart is willing, please break me. I want to get closer to you, learn more about your amazing love. I want to learn more about what your death on the cross means and how that applies to my life now.
You are so amazing in everything that you do, the way you move and send your holy spirit through people to bring them closer to you.
Lord, I need healing, and more importantly I need you. Reflecting on my heart at the moment, I am so unworthy, so unattractive, so undeserving, so filthy… But you are so good, so righteous, so loving, so beautiful, so deserving, so worthy, so..so..so…endless.
I need you more than ever right now. Let me just bask in your presence, may I not be lazy and ignorant, but may i be loving, and patient. May I be more like you in my every day life.
May I go on a date with you God? please Father? <3 just you and me~ no distractions…
“My heart rejoices in the LORD;
in the LORD my horn is lifted high.
My mouth boasts over my enemies,
for I delight in your deliverance.2 “There is no one holy like the LORD;
there is no one besides you;
there is no Rock like our God.3 “Do not keep talking so proudly
or let…
(Source: leadme2thecross1)
