Vanishing Act
How can something that was so real, just vanish into thin air like dust.
I did something super depressing today. Went ahead and read all the posts we sent each other on our blog, and reread all the posts that I posted on my xanga when we were going through our break up. And I only felt anger. ANGER for letting myself be treated the way I was, but I don’t regret anything. Because I gave my all, I loved to my fullest capacity, and was true to my heart. My craziness as you called it, was just me madly in love and not knowing what to do when you were cheating on me.
Today is another step in your final days that dwell within my heart. Your face, your smell, your voice, our memories… are slowly fading, the pain is still there but bearable enough where I am not crying my nights away wallowing in my self pity, for I have found a love so much greater. The love of my Father, the love of my saviour, the love of someone who you will never compare to. Through Him, I am able to learn to forgive you and pray blessings for your future. I still care about you, that if we were to ever see each other again, I wouldn’t know what to do but say I missed you, How are You?, Hope life has been treating you well. You look well. I’ve been praying for you.
My God is so much greater, so humbling, so fearful, reverent, Holy. He is my new love that I cling onto for ALL things. Nobody will understand me as much as my loving Father will. His word, the Bible, is his love book to us, his promise to us. I LOVE YOU.
